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One is giving them both Wd same honest portrait; it is just that one uses different approaches to doing so. The more time people spend together the less likely it is that each can act dishonestly around the other.
Why honesty is the best policy: two cases The scarlet sweater One's intimate comes home wearing a red sweater, proud as Punch. But, as we shall argue, these do not undermine our general thesis.
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Reportive or verbal intimacy occurs when one privately tells another something ificant about oneself or shares personal information rarely shared with others. Openness can be harsh; candor, brutal; frankness, inconsiderate, whereas an intimate encounter cannot be brutal, harsh or inconsiderate.
On the other hand, maybe one does not 'feel' great love, but finds that one wants to be with A--one enjoys A's company, revels in A's sense of humor, is titillated by A's conversations. Moreover, that intimate can encourage one to enhance that portrait as one alternately crystallizes and modifies oneself. Of course, we do not wish to downplay the genuine complexities that intimates face.
They found six kinds of right people whose final intimate encounter ended up being by having a same-sex other.
But it can plausibly be argued that in such cases momentary suppression is not really dishonest. They may emerge surreptitiously in snide comments or avoidance behavior.
For instance, suppose one has a minor quibble about the behavior of an intimate who just so happens to be momentarily depressed or insecure. Recognizing the legitimacy of such cases, however, may lead an intimate to accept more pervasive dishonesty.
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It provides a context which makes interpretation of such beliefs more reliable. Human Cornrnunication Research 11 According to best predictions, however, sharing details of the affair now would destroy any chance of rebuilding it. When I end one thing, i usually suggest it.
Here one claims to be concerned with the feelings and needs of the other and such concerns may well be present. Otherwise, one would be relating only to a phantom. Intimacy also contributes to self-knowledge.
One might deceive others by saying ' I am benevolently inclined, ' even when one is not, or one might delude them by giving selectively to charity, helping neighbors and so on. For instance to use the exampleJones encounted comprehends Smith's erratic behavior. Now there are two variations on the above case where at least temporary dishonesty might be justified.
Confident: we admire dudes who will be confident and specific about on their own. As Solomon claims, 'honesty is sometimes the obstacle rather than the essence of love. Suppose A asks B: ' Do you love me? There is no simple dictum e.
Intentional suppression does deprive the relationship of intimste honest fertilizing it needs, but it is certainly not the whole story. We begin by analyzing the notion of intimacy. Everyone need decide only whether or not to share that access.
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One must be careful not to damage this frail self-image by pointing out troubles or difficulties with the relationship. Jourard, S. Therefore, 1 this trivia is not revealing; withholding intimae would not be detrimental to the relationship.
The second way is often just a bastardization of the first. Of course, what is revealed need not be a fixed permanent or determinate fully formed or even a distinctive trait.
For even if the argument is cogent it does not undercut our thesis. Since honesty is less difficult when each intimate knows a great deal about the other, intimates have more reason to reveal seemingly inificant details.
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This continuity fosters the expectation that parties to the relationship will continue to make intimate exchanges--the relationship is founded on them. If she or he disagrees, however, she or he has a right to know the partner's beliefs on important matters so as to have some control over the relationship. Furthermore, repetitive similar revelations cease to be informative.